Saturday, July 9, 2016

Halloween is Arriving at Pottery Barn

I don't know about you but I love Pottery Barn's Halloween offerings. Their stuff is so sophisticated, classy and stately – just what every Halloween enthusiast needs! They have such a knack for taking a 19-cent light string, adding some admittedly detailed plastic covers, and then charge $34 for something you could get at Target for $8.

But I quibble. I mean The Barn really goes for it when making oversized metal sculptures that weigh 65 lbs. and then ship it in a cardboard box that could fit my washer and dryer. That's the kind of permanence that can be passed down generations and outlive us all on planet Earth. That's what I'm looking for in a Halloween decoration. And I want to remortgage the house to get a skull on a base thingy or get that "Ball and Claw Object". No kidding–their marketing team is so inexperienced with Halloween that the best name they could come up with is "object" – not a gazing globe or crystal ball (for goodness sake, crack open a thesaurus already).

Like the years before, I wonder who the audience is for The Barn's Halloween stuff. Their core shopping demographic is upper middle class (and you know how they love "satanic" holidays and spending nights at home answering their own door to hand out free things to children). I suspect that celebrities (the new money kind), house managers for disengaged corporate VPs, and set decorators for ABC comedies are the true shopping demographic. At the very least, we can enjoy the beautiful photography of The Barn's Halloween products on their website and keep dreaming of winning a moderate lottery to afford some of it.


4 comments:

  1. LOL about mortgaging the house and "...crack open a thesaurus".

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    1. Sorry! I know, I know. My disdain for bourgeois takeover of "our" cultural holiday is front and center. I should applaud that a major corporation is taking such interest in Halloween, and producing such great stuff. It's all envy and inability to afford any of it fueling my pedantic diatribes... The "object" thing, however, is inexcusable by any measure.

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  2. I find Pottery Barn Halloween to be the best quality and usually use their items year round (the Halloween items, that is). Yesterday I bought their Flying Bats Wall Art. It's actually on sale: http://www.potterybarn.com/m/products/flying-bats-wall-art

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    1. That sculpture is amazing!!! And on sale!! Wow. I usually wait for one of their coupons to buy a little something. The idea of using something as art in your home year round certainly amortizes the cost vs. value of The Barn's Halloween products. Now THAT is smart! My Halloween decor has been quarantined to one room in the house (until mid-September) or I have to face marriage counseling. Your house must be AMAZING. Pictures! Pictures!

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